Why are we drawn to certain people, places, and things? 

There are items we gravitate towards, others that repel us away, and some that don’t even show up on our radar. I recently found the best explanation in an unlikely spot, an architecture textbook, “The Timeless Way of Building.” 

The author, Christopher Alexander, speaks of a common quality that is found in attractive items. While he focuses on the process of creating rooms, buildings, and towns, the principle can be applied elsewhere. 

The book describes why some spaces feel “alive” and others “stagnant.” This feeling can be found in all realms of our life. It is what draws us to specific people, places, projects, or performances. I see this in a cozy reading chair with natural light. I’m attracted to the same spot no matter if there are a dozen other sitting options.

This quality is objective and precise, yet cannot be named. It can be felt, but not explained by a single word or phrase. Alexander proves there is no word that fully describes this concept and explains why a few get close - alive, true, whole, genuine - but still fall short. 

“Things are not all so comprehensible and expressible as one would mostly have us believe; most events are inexpressible, taking place in a realm which no word has ever entered, and more inexpressible than all else are works of art, mysterious existences, the life of which, while ours passes away, endures.” 

- Rainer Maria Rilke

What are some places or experiences that spark this feeling for you? 

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