The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal

Main takeaways:

1.    Learn. Stress is only harmful to your health if you believe it is.

2.    Embrace. The stress paradox says happy lives include stress.

3.    Practice. You can channel your stress into energy that boosts your performance.
 

1.    Stress is only harmful to your health if you believe it is. [Learn]

Many eye-opening studies are mentioned throughout the book. I most appreciated the ones that proved what happens when your mindset towards stressful situations changes. Your physical and mental response to stress can be either empowering or debilitating, and in a lot of situations, it's up to you to choose.

Once we are aware of feeling stressed, we have the control to change our reaction. Reacting to stressful situations with an optimistic mindset literally causes your body to produce different levels of hormones, positively (oxytocin, cortisol, and DHEA). In some cases, this may be as simple as telling ourselves we are excited to have the experience instead of trying to calm ourselves or trick our minds in ways that would avoid the stress.
 

2.    The stress paradox says happy lives include stress. [Embrace]

“Stress is always part of a happy life, which means a totally stress-free life cannot be a happy one.”

During a stressful day, it’s easy to think you want it to end. However, if you were to reflect on the most stressful moments in your life you will notice these situations most likely include experiences that helped you grow, challenges you are most proud of, and relationships that helped define you. The most meaningful memories can be born from stressful times.

This means the costs of avoiding stress are very high. McGonigal shows us a variety of ways that pursuing a life without stress is harmful. Avoiding these situations results in reduced feelings of well-being, lower life satisfaction and happiness, and increased feelings of isolation. Stress avoidance as a goal can exhaust you. One study tracked students through certain stressful periods and individuals with the strongest desire to avoid stress were more likely to report declines in energy, self-control, and focus. They were also more likely to become depressed over the semester, experience increasing conflict at work and home, and end up with more negative outcomes.

This negative and vicious stress generation cycle becomes self-confirming. When you’re perceiving stressful moments as negative, you work to avoid them and end up creating more sources of stress. By maximizing pleasure and avoiding pain you are likely to create a life without meaningful connections to people, projects, and your community.

3.    You can channel your stress into energy that boosts your performance. [Practice]

Our minds determine how our bodies react to stress. If this is the case, then it’s a skill we can all master and thrive on with practice. Learning and embracing the benefits stress can provide is a great way to feel energized and more appreciative of the difficult things we face. Mentally we can be confident and determined in tough situations. Physically we can make stronger personal connections and think more clearly.

You can find the strength to pursue goals and endure difficult experiences that are meaningful knowing you will be stronger and thankful after going through it.

You can practice this awareness by reflecting on our own reactions to stress in the past. Here are a few questions she suggests asking to recognize our own potential shortcomings.

• Have I cut out activities that I thought would be too stressful?

• What is the cost of missing these opportunities?

• What activities do I turn to when you want to avoid stress?

  • Do they enhance meaning or help me grow?

  • Are they self-destructive?

Here’s a popular TED Talk from the author for a glimpse into her ideas.