Friendship

Friendships are powerful. In the presence of friends we talk, listen and feel differently. Usually, for the better. Ralph Waldo Emerson explains this well in his beautiful Friendship essay. I want to write some of the ideas down to remember now, and later.

We should treat friendship with the roughest of courage says Emerson.

“When friendships are real, they are the solidest things we know.”  

This is not arguing or fighting but caring. We learn a lot from how our friends respond in raw moments. If they care enough to be honest, show forgiveness and call out our faults, then joy may flow from that relationship for years to come.

We speak differently around friends. In Emerson’s words, “...a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think along.” 

I notice this courage showing itself as vulnerability. In the confines of our friends we feel comfortable speaking before we have a complete thought. Once said out loud it becomes real. As soon as we hear the new thought ourselves, we respond to the feedback immediately; from our own ears as well as our friend’s reaction. We are open to their reaction because trust is there. We crave their opinion.

We listen to our friends. Emerson recognizes, “we overestimate the conscious of our friends...Our own thoughts sound new and larger from their mouth”

Their words weigh more on us and our opinions. With them, we have already formed a foundation of respect. Friends have the power to breathe life into ideas we aren’t confident in or deliver the final blow when we need to move on. Without them, we are caught in a pendulum of inaction and timidness. Even a slight push of encouragement from a friend can spark a deep fire that’s waiting inside of us. 

Friends allow us to feel secure and safe. No matter what situations life spins up they are there to catch us. We feel inspired, courageous, and confident when we lean into friendship and it is reciprocated. We are all facing challenges. Friends act as self-selected guides through these times and help each other come out stronger on the other side.